Raising our daughters to have courage and confidence. According to an article from Girls Leadership, the key to this is to help her practice self compassion. Yes, being kind to themselves is the key.
As moms, we need to be kinder to ourselves as well. So we will practice this with ourselves and with our daughters. Who's in?
Researchers are discovering that self-compassion is even healthier for kids than self-esteem. A host of studies have found that that self-esteem isn’t the golden goose psychologists and parents once believed it was. High self-esteem is associated with narcissism, which involves selfishness, grandiosity, and a hunger for the approval of others. People with high self-esteem tend to compare themselves to others. Many need to feel better than or superior to others, just to feel good about themselves.
Psychologist Kristin Neff, of the University of Texas at Austin, says self-compassion has three components:
- Self-kindness: approaching yourself in a soothing, comforting way. Talking to yourself the way a close friend might talk to you in this difficult situation.
- A sense of common humanity: recognizing that all humans are imperfect and make mistakes. Rather than deciding you are the only person who is struggling (a common reaction that leads to isolation and shame), you connect your own experience with countless others who have struggled before you, or who struggle now.
- Mindfulness: naming how you think and feel right now, in the present moment. You don’t deny what’s happening, but you don’t blow it out of proportion, or ruminate (overthink) about it endlessly.